The Insanely Boring Lives of World Cup Referees
In an apparent attempt to humanize the World Cup referees, FIFA has posted cutesy little bios of each of them on the World Cup 2014 website.
It’s kind of a form that you fill out with your basic stats: how tall you
wish you were are, your language, how many years you’ve been doing this, etc.
The bios are accompanied by the scariest photos known to man. (See examples, above: Cuneyt Cakir, Nicola Rizzoli and Pedro Proenca – in their undead form).
Even gorgeous guys like Rizzoli and Proenca look like complete dorks. Good job to whatever photographer made Rizzoli – the ultimate Mr. Smooth – look like a dork. That takes real effort.
Anyhow, the bios each have a couple of “human interest” fields: hobbies and fondest memory. Most referees left these blank, sort of defeating the purpose and not exactly offsetting those terrifying pictures.
The ones who listed their hobbies did nothing to help. Even my beloved Rizzoli is a big fat fail here. (“Reading”? Really?) And Webb’s “family” answer may be understandable for a father of three, yet still mind-numbingly dull.
And then, they were saved. Saved from drowning in a sea of stupendous boredom, and by a couple of Italians no less: Rizzoli’s much more interesting-seeming ARs.
Puzzles! Gospel singing!
To the other referees (with their generic movies, sports and music “hobbies”):
That, gentlemen, is how it’s done.
Now, it’s possible that these guys aren’t really this delightfully weird. It could be that these two chuckleheads just made those answers up to see if anyone was paying attention. Which would make them even cooler, really.
Honorable mention? Marvin Torrentera Rivera of Mexico who chose:
Yeah, I’m with you on that, Marvin.