PLAY THE ADVANTAGE

Things around the Andy Carroll red card are getting quite hysterical.

And not in a good way.

First, West Ham are so beside themselves over the fact that FA didn’t pick up the toys they threw out of their pram that they’re threatening legal action. I’m not even kidding. They’ve gone to QC Lord Something or Other and are threatening to take the matter to the High Court if they don’t get their way.

The problem is, West Ham – like every single other Premier League club – agreed to the Wrongful Dismissal Claims process at the beginning of the year. They were told then that suspensions would only be rescinded in case of “obvious error.” They knew that by signing, they were agreeing that the Regulatory Commission’s decisions could not be appealed.

And they signed it anyway.

Now that it isn’t going their way, they want to throw the entire process into disarray. I was feeling sorry for them until this point, but now I’m free of that.

I guess we can all just be grateful that they didn’t threaten to break Howard Webb’s legs and then publicly accuse him of racism.

Second, and this may come as a shock to some of you, but Chico Flores is an ass.

He keeps going on Twitter, trying to defend himself, and instead making fun of West Ham fans and just looking even worse than he does now. Which I didn’t think was possible.

Look, I’ve said all along that I thought Carroll was hardly the innocent little lamb he was made out to be. But that doesn’t make what Flores did in this game, and countless other games before it, right. He really is a disgrace and maybe he should give up playing (at which he totally sucks) and take up acting (at which he would probably also suck, come to think of it).

Finally, former Leeds Manager Neil Warnock was at some dinner, and was asked about this whole sordid affair. Amongst a lot of other bluster about how the FA is protecting poor Howard Webb (who looks quite capable of taking care of himself, thanks), he said, and I quote:

“Everyone on that FA committee – and no-one knows who they are – has got away with murder.”

Let’s read that again, shall we:

Got away with murder.

So…a 25-year-old who gets paid millions of pounds to play a game, swings his big arms around and hits another millionaire, and the referee sends him to the changing room (with a hot girl sitting in the ice bath, no less). And because the Commission didn’t agree that this was the most enormous injustice in the history of mankind, they “got away with murder.”

Not to contribute to all the histrionics, but I think that anyone whose loved one was actually murdered may not feel quite the same way.

Can we all just calm down?

Let’s put this in perspective. While it sucks for West Ham, who are struggling to avoid relegation, nothing has really happened. They haven’t even lost anything yet, and if they’re so delicate that one guy (who’s barely played this year, just for the record) causes them to drop, they don’t deserve to be in the Premier League anyway.

But honestly, people, no one got away with murder. No one died. Lots of worse things have happened today alone. Let’s all just take a deep breath.

Andy Carroll really isn’t all that important.

Update: West Ham have been successful in strong-arming the FA into an arbitration hearing before their fixture with Aston Villa. I have my own opinions about that and I do hope the referees are allowed to be represented, as well. But we’ll see how it plays out today.